The Numpties at Grange Town Council

I’ve applied for planning permission to turn a scruffy area of scrubland on the edge of Hampsfell Road into a small space where cars can park and turn around , to stop the road becoming congested on my garden Open Days. The impetus for this has come from my neighbours, none of whom object to the plan, but bizarrely the Grange Town Council has. They’ve had the bright idea that instead I should ferry people from the town in a land train. ​

I outlined this proposal to a group of schoolchildren who were visiting my garden and they were excited by the idea, but one girl put up her hand and asked “But how would the train get up the hill?” It’s a little alarming that the combined intelligence of the town council is lower than that of a ten year old girl. There’s another problem – as Hampsfell Road is a dead end, how would the train turn round? I think I have the solution – there’s a scruffy area of scrubland at the top of the hill which would make an ideal turning area.
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*The photo shows a town train in Torquay which will come up for sale at the end of the year for the bargain price of £104,000. No doubt the Town Council will be organising a whip-round.