I wonder if, when Marco Pierre White became the spokesman for Bernard Matthews Turkeys anyone said: “That’s a principled decision. I respect him for that” ? That thought came to mind today when it was announced that Slow Food is to be sponsored by Booth’s supermarkets. Now, as far as supermarkets go, I know that Booths are marginally less evil than the rest. And as it’s five years since I ventured inside a supermarket I thought I’d better check and see, in case I was hopelessly out of date and they have become, as the press release implies, a paragon of virtue.

I was going to use the heading “Seven inches of heaven” and then thought better of it. After three weeks of warm dry weather the spring has caught up and our asparagus has arrived dead on time, on April 24th, which is the average date on which I’ve collected the first spears in the last six years. In a normal year, a year which isn’t wrecked by Chelsea, I’d be eating asparagus nearly every day until the end of May. In fact I’m perfectly content to have only asparagus followed by rhubarb tart every evening, which makes menu planning very easy for Margaret.

Heroes of She’s epic performance at the finals of the Live and Unsigned competition was brilliant. brilliant.  

Now the band are busy rehearsing their act for the Regional Finals, at the Willow Club in Manchester on May 9th.  Could they possibly improve on their ‘My Sharona/Burning In Flames’ performance?  The word on the streets is Yes.  In which case they are a certainty for the prize of a gig at the 02 stadium.  I can’t wait.

The saddleback sow has produced 14 piglets, some of whom have perfect markings. They are all in perfect health, which is surprising considering the amount of work required just to get a hold of a teat. The squealing of the little piglets is almost deafening as they fight for food. Meanwhile the sow adds to the cacophony with her contended grunting.

No-one puts on a better mating display than Marco Pierre White, which is why his name came instantly to mind when I saw our male turkey put on the over-the-top routine seen in this video. Of course, the words “turkey” and “Marco” are now inextricably linked, ever since Marco became the official face of Bernard Matthew Turkeys. Marco had kept his fondness for factory farming a closely guarded secret and I’m sure it took a great deal of money to persuade him to share this passion with the rest of the world. Of course, none of the turkeys on Bernard Matthew’s farms ever see the light of day, so I doubt whether they ever get the chance to indulge in mating displays. Which is something which Marco should perhaps have thought about before he accepted that shed-load of money from Mr Matthews.

Damson Day is always held in the middle of April to coincide with the damson blossom which is always such a spectacular sight in the Lyth Valley. Except for this year, when everything, including the blossom, is about a fortnight late. But the weather is trying to catch up- we’ve enjoyed a fortnight of clear skies and Damson Day was no exception. Last year, we had a record attendance of 3,000, which will  almost certainly  be beaten this year. I say “we” because the Damson Dene Hotel is, most appropriately, the event’s main sponsor. Blossom or no blossom, I can’t remember a better atmosphere at the event.

The mosaic which Maggy Howarth is creating for the Victorian Aviary Garden is 12 square metres in size, which may not sound much but is the size of the average spare bedroom- in other words pretty damn massive when you think that it’s made entirely of pebbles. I went to Maggy’s workshop today to see how things were coming along. It’s about half finished, with the main part of the design, the Peacock, laid out in one enormous piece outside and the rest , including the border, in sections on several large tables in the workshop. I’m completely taken aback by the intricacy of the work and the quality of the craftsmanship. It’s awe-inspiring. We checked the time table and Maggy gave a big gulp when I confirmed that the mosaic needs to be at Chelsea for May 13th, which is less than four weeks from now. Mark, her only assistant, is away installing a mosaic in Gatehead. As soon as he gets back, it will be flat out for them both until the mosaic is safely installed.

At lunch today I bought ten ducks which will take part in the annual duck race in Kendal later this year (watch this space) to raise money for the Bob McGie award. This is testimony to the vast amount of alcohol we were given (Champagne to begin with and then a different wine with each course) with our lunch, which was prepared and served by the students of Kendal College. It is one of the best hospitality events of the year. The money raised by the ducks, the lunch and other events sponsors students from the college on trips abroad to widen their horizons and give them the chance to learn about food in another country. This year, trips are being sponsored to Portugal, Dubai and New Zealand. Tony Jackson from Lakeland Vintners, who has supplied the wine to my hotels for nearly 20 years, which in itself shows what a great guy he is, generously donated the wine.

This Sago Palm (Cycas Revoluta) spent three years outside, in the Gravel Garden, winters included, after which it became rather the worse for wear. The fronds began to turn brown and so, in the autumn of 2008, we brought it into the Orangery to let it recuperate. It sat there, looking poorly and rather forlorn and for a long time we thought it had given up the ghost. We lost the heating in the orangery in the middle of the coldest spell last winter and thought that would be the last straw. Then suddenly, two weeks ago, just as the weather began to get warmer and as we began to give up hope, it sprang into life. The Sago Palm is one of the world’s oldest plants. Its actually a Cycad, not a palm and is very slow growing indeed, taking up to a hundred years to reach ten feet. A slow life, indeed.

The following piece appeared in The Independent today:

'For the first year in its history, the Adam Smith Institute has opted not to award its annual Honest Politician Of The Year Award, explaining that “no qualifying candidates could be found”. Surely not! Anthony Steen was, apparently, nominated after claiming that people were “jealous” of his sprawling second home, as was Sir Nicholas Winterton for airing his opinion of standard-class travellers (“a totally different type of people”). Alas, neither man quite made the grade. Not to worry: “Next year we will give an award for Corrupt Politician Of The Year,” the event’s organisers added. “Corrupt politicians are actually the most honest. When bought, they stay bought.” A new law to live by, then.'
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Well done, The Adam Smith Institute,  for fooling them, although it might as well be true.