The organisers told us that 100,000 had applied for the 5th series of Britain’s Got Talent, but whatever the numbers my youngest daughter Sara was delighted to be invited to audition. From the time we arrived, at 8am on a bleak Manchester Sunday morning, the TV cameras were there. And they were there to pounce on the most outrageous, the most outlandish, the most freakish. The first was a man with a saucepan on his head who sang with a Dalek voice. Then there was the fat middle aged man in the white Elvis suit; then the even fatter middle aged man in a suit made from the flags of the British Isles. Then “Veronica”, a 6ft 2 transvestite.
Sara was allocated to group A where we were delighted to make the acquaintance of the man with the saucepan. He calls himself Armitage Hanks, “because my act is complete toilet”. We were also with Hero (her real name) a lovely girl of 12 who plays the harp and whose mother told me she was named after the character from Much Ado About Nothing. Hero is something of an old hand, after being a finalist in a similar show on sky.
Sara auditioned as Red Blaze and sang a rap song which she had been busy composing while we were having dinner last night. I’m not sure that all the contestants were as nonchalant, but they will have to be patient as we won’t know until next year who has got through to the next round
The video shows Armitage Hanks entertaining the crowds whilst we were queuing to enter the auditorium.