The Cuckoo Brow Inn

The world’s best commute (see http://www.slow-life.co.uk/2010/12/21/the-slow-life-journey-to-work/) has just got a whole lot better now that the Sawrey Hotel has been magically transformed into the Cuckoo Brow Inn. I can take precious little credit for the transformation, but that hasn’t stopped me from lapping up the extravagantly lavish praise which I’ve received from just about everyone in the village of Far Sawrey. The person who deserves the credit is my PA, Sally, who, together with her husband Dan, has been fully responsible for the project, including all the design work. The work started in November last year, since when the 2 Star and rather sad old Sawrey Hotel has been completely gutted and transformed into a 4 star Inn with 14 stylish bedrooms. The work was interrupted for a little while four months ago while Sally gave birth to her baby Florence (http://www.slow-life.co.uk/2011/05/19/the-happiest-smile/), but apart from that she has been indefatigable, and I’m very proud of what she has achieved.

Wayne is Elvis

Tucked away behind the Damson Dene Hotel, underneath the Leisure Club is an old decrepit store room which nobody visits. Walking past earlier today, I was surprised to hear what appeared to be a party going on. I popped my head in and there amongst the old abandoned sofas and mattresses, was the astonishing sight of Wayne sounding very much like Elvis! In fact so much like Elvis, that I wondered for a moment whether he was miming into the microphone. Could this be the same person, who, only a fortnight ago was seen shirtless in his caravan singing an off-key Band of Gold to his faithful dog Fly? This, it turns out, was the key to his clandestine crooning. Wayne had been so shocked to hear his singing voice on TV, that he was determined to get it back into shape. This video shows what a brilliant job he’s done and I think the time is right for him to bring his singing out of the shadows.

The Most Hideous House in Cumbria

Crosthwaite is one of the most beautiful villages in England. It’s in the Lake District National Park and happens to be the location of one of my hotels, the Damson Dene. Because it’s in the National Park there are very strict planning regulations, very few planning applications for new buildings are granted every year and those that are, are subject to very strict regulations. One of these is that the roof must be made with Burlington slate. Not any old slate, which might cut the cost by half, but Burlington slate,which is quarried locally and is exactly the right colour. There’s a good reason for this, which is that every house built in the last few hundred years in this area has used Burlington slate. Any other colour would look out of place.

Every house in Crosthwaite, without exception is roofed with Burlington slate. The houses are made of local stone and some of them are whitewashed. I travel through the village nearly every day on my way from Kendal to the Damson Dene and the journey, which takes me through lovely countryside, is a joy, not least because of the vernacular architecture. But now there is a blot on the landscape, or, as Prince Charles would put it, a carbuncle. One of the beautiful old cottages in the village has covered the slate roof with solar panels. They are ugly beyond belief. The sadness is that the local council, who are Lib-dems, and the local MP, who is likewise, all worship at the altar of Green correctness. In their effort to be seen to be Green they overlook the fact that these panels are almost worthless in one of the least sunny parts of England; that they are only being installed because of a taxpayer subsidy and that the cost is added to electricity bills as a stealth tax which is wholly regressive. Both the owner and the local councillors who permitted it should be thoroughly ashamed of themselves.

The Swallows Return to the Damson Dene

“Swallows high, staying dry:
Swallows low, wet will blow”

The swallows are back at the Damson Dene, and very welcome they are too, even though their nest, which is just above the entrance to Reception, does create quite a mess. Our guests like to know at the start of each day what the weather’s going to be like and we print off a forecast which, as it’s prepared by the Met Office, is pretty useless. We’d do just as well to ask them to look at our Swallows. If they are flying high, the weather will be warm- this may be because they follow the insects, as the warm currents of air carry the insects upwards. If the weather is cool and wet the insects fly low and the birds follow them. An alternative, and better, theory, is that swallows have ear drums which are sensitive to air pressure, which acts like a built in barometer, which gives them a warning of a change in the weather.

Swallows are one of those birds whose population is rising, particularly here in the west of the country. Amazingly, they over-winter in South Africa. Their ultra-sensitivity to the weather is vital on the long perilous journey, but even so only 50% of adults survive the journey. They always come back to the same nest. Goodness knows what adventures our swallows have had on their journey here- but they’ve made it- and dead on time.

Wayne on Fern

“You must catch this programme. It’s going to be absolutely huge” Fern Britton.

This is Wayne’s first appearance on a chat show but you’d never know. He’s completely natural; the audience love him and it’s clear that they love ‘The Hotel’ as well. Wayne isn’t at all put out when Fern invites him to sit in a ‘cutie-van’ and replies with the quip

“When the caravan’s a rocking.
Don’t come knocking”

#The Hotel

Anything over a million viewers would have been acceptable, but Channel 4 were ecstatic to hear that 2.3 million viewers watched the first episode of The Hotel – and that it was the most viewed programme on Channel 4 in the entire week. I got a call not long after the programme ended to say that I must log on to #thehotel on Twitter. It was amazing to see the torrent of tweets – most of them favourable. Two things were obvious – all of the girls loved Amos and everyone loved Wayne, except for the girls who thought that he had been mean to Amos. For a while on Sunday ‘The Hotel’ trended No1 in the UK on Twitter and No2 Worldwide. The video shows an interview with Wayne shown on Granada Reports on Monday evening.

Damson Day 2011

Although the Damson Dene Hotel has been the main sponsor of Damson Day for several years now we can take no credit for the fact that it has blossomed into one of the best events in the spring calendar. “Blossomed” is the appropriate word today, because the damson orchards in the Lyth Valley are all in full bloom. There can’t be a prettier sight in the whole of England.

I think we can be pretty confident of a bumper damson harvest this year. Although the warm days which have brought out the blossom have been followed by clear nights there hasn’t been any frost or other adverse weather which might have prevented the fruit from setting.
There was a happy festive atmosphere today and it looks as though, once again, Damson Day has attracted record crowds, which will give the Association some of the funds which they need for the good work they do in encouraging damson growing.
This video gives a taste of what a fun day it was.

“The Hotel” is “Unmissable” says the BBC

How often does the BBC cover a programme on a rival Channel and say that it is “unmissable”. This to our amazement was the verdict of BBC’s ‘Northwest Tonight, after they had come to Damson Dene to preview “THe Hotel”. And they weren’t shy about saying it again and again, as their piece was shown at breakfast, at lunchtime and in the early evening bulletin. Today’s papers have brought even better news. “The Hotel” was chosen by all the papers except the Guardian as their ‘Pick of the Day’ and all the reviews were upbeat, including the following gems:

“A sheer delight” , “A masterpiece in the art of editing” ,”It’s like Fawlty Towers in Heaven”

The Times

“TV Gold in waiting”
“Meet Wayne- from now on your Sunday nights just won’t be the same without him”

The Sun

“The Hotel”- The Official Launch

In TV-speak we have the TX date (transmission date to you and me)-of The Hotel Sunday April 17th at 8pm. Previously we had been told that the first episode would go out on Tuesday April 26th, and I expect that the date has been brought forward to get in ahead of the mighty brouhaha of the Royal Wedding. Wayne, the General Manager at the Damson Dene, and Paul and Lavinia, who are now his assisstant managers, joined executives from Channel 4 and the staff of Dragonfly, the production company and several dozen representatives of the press (“hacks” in TV-speak) for a preview of the first episode. We were at the plush cinema room in the Channel 4 headquarters in central London. The episode has three main themes- a proposal of marriage (the young couple were also there for the screening), the induction of Amos, a young Romanian recruit, and the story of an elderly couple who were having a short break before getting the results of a test which would show whether or not the husband had terminal cancer. This was the second time I had seen this episode and I found it to be just as funny and moving as the first. Most importantly, the hard, cynical hacks also loved it- in fact the Channel 4 guys said they had never seen such a warm reaction to a preview.
Afterwards, there was a question and answer session in which Wayne was brilliantly funny. I don’t think he realises what a star he is going to be.

Kosovo or Cumbria?

“Are we in the middle of a civil war?” asked the guest at the Damson Dene, “Driving along here this morning I could have sworn I was in Kosovo. Have you seen the state of these roads?” Suitably stung into action by these barbed comments I set off with my Flip video camera to see for myself. The road in question used to be the main access road from the South to Windermere, and although it is less well used now since the dual carriage-way was built, it’s still an important access road. It’s not a pretty sight- the state of it justified every ounce of sarcasm from the guest. For good measure I also photographed the decaying signage. at the side of the road.

Surely these conditions are inevitable now that the councils run out of money? Unfortunately that’s by no means the whole story. The policy of neglect long predates the current constraints. I took photos of the decaying signs three years ago. This civil war has been raging for a long, long time.

“The Hotel”- Coming Soon

In a few weeks the Damson Dene Hotel will, if Channel 4 has its way, be famous. This cartoon, which appeared on the front page of the Westmorland Gazette has been drawn in response to a preliminary flurry of publicity in the local papers about a TV series, based at the Damson Dene, which has the preliminary title of “The Hotel”. It will be shown in 8 one hour episodes on Channel 4, after the watershed. The filming of the programme, which took up a great chunk of our lives last summer, was made by an independent company called Dragonfly who made the well known ‘fly on the wall’ series, The Family and One Born Every Minute. The latter won a Bafta last year. I’m not allowed, just yet, to say any more except that the first episode had me roaring with laughter one minute and weeping the next. Of course, I’m too close to it all to judge how the Great British Public will take to it – but I’ve got a feeling that Dragonfly know what they’re doing.

The First Daffodil of Spring

There’s a fierce rivalry between the adjacent villages of Crosthwaite and Underbarrow. Each has a pub called the Punch Bowl and in that respect I think it is fair to say that Crosthwaite has the upper hand. They each take pride in their floral displays and here Underbarrow is the undoubted winner. I travel through the villages nearly every day on my way to the Damson Dene and I’ve seen some brutally low temperatures this winter- the worst being -17 C. But the last fortnight has seen the back of winter and the daffodils on the roadside verges have shot up. There are literally thousands in Underbarrow and they will produce a beautiful display- “worth the detour” to see, as the Michelin man would say. And yet the first to come into full bloom, even though it’s still February is in Crosthwaite- as this picture, taken this morning, shows.

The Slow Life Journey to Work

On a day like today I’d be willing to bet that there is no journey to work better than mine. I begin in Grange-over-Sands on a sparkling morning when the rising sun casts long red shadows on the expansive sands of Morecambe Bay. Then along the Lythe Valley to the Damson Dene Hotel in Crosthwaite. It is deep midwinter; when I started out the temperature was –1C and with each mile inland it drops a further degree so that by the time I reach the Damson Dene it is –7. All the fields and trees along the way are thickly coated with a hoar frost which gleams in the bright sunshine.
From the Damson Dene my journey takes me to our latest acquisition, the Sawrey Hotel, which is about 15 minutes away on the other side of Lake Windermere. I cross the Lake by a ferry which works on a pulley system which gives a quiet smooth ride and allows you to enjoy the view of the water with the snow-capped mountains beyond. Today the Lake is covered with ice but the ferry has been able to push its way through. This video is a record of the crossing. This isn’t work- it’s the Slow Life.
The song which accompanies the video is A Hazy Shade of Winter by Simon and Garfunkel.

The End of The Big Freeze

This nipping air
Sent from the distant clime where winter wields
His icy scimitar

William Wordsworth

Yesterday the temperature on the road to the Damson Dene Hotel was minus 17.5 degrees; today it was plus 2. This remarkable turnaround was brought about simply because the wind changed direction from the icy east to the warm west. This is the first time the temperature here has been above zero for a fortnight.

Although the main roads have been clear there has been such a sense of drama in all the news bulletins that most people have been afraid to travel and the Lake District has had very few visitors, which is a pity because they have missed seeing the countryside at its most beautiful. This is how Paul Simons, who writes on the weather in the Times, describes it:

“As if by magic, a winter wonderland has appeared. Every tree, fence and blade of grass looks as if it has been sprayed with icing sugar, glittering and sparkling in the winter sunshine. This is a frost, but no ordinary frost. It is called rime, and appears as a thick coat of white crystals in exceptionally cold weather. And if the wind blows, the rime forms thick streaks on the side of a tree or any other object facing the direction of the wind, making it look like icy spears bursting out”

The curious tale of Lord Tonypandy’s Damson Tree

In the centre of the lawn at the Damson Dene Hotel is a lovely Damson Tree, under which is a plaque which reads:

‘This Damson Tree was planted by Viscount Tonypandy on the 8th July 1993′

Lord Tonypandy was the Speaker of the House of Commons at the time when proceedings were first televised (he was then known as George Thomas), whose Welsh-accented cries of “Order, Order” were so well known. At the time when I bought the Damson Dene Hotel, ten years ago, Lord Tonypandy’s tree was in a very sorry state, unable to bear fruit and obviously on its way out. I invited our local Tory MP, Tim Collins, who was in the Shadow Cabinet and destined for greatness, to plant a replacement. A planting ceremony took place, which was well publicised in the local papers. Tim’s tree thrived, while Lord Tonypandy’s continued to decline.

Then, to everyone’s surprise, Tim Collins lost his seat in the general election of 2005. He left politics as well as the House of Commons. From that moment on, his tree fell into decline. Within a year it was dead. But at the same time, Lord Tonypandy’s took on a new lease of life. Now, five years later it has made a full recovery and for the first time is laden with fruit. There is no moral to this tale.

Damson Pie- Grounds for Divorce

Margaret has made two damson pies which are on the menu at the Damson Dene Hotel- and guests are being warned to look out for stones.
Wayne offered the menu to a lady who was dining with her daughter . “Of course I’ll have the damson pie” she said, “I wouldn’t miss it for the world. You know, my husband divorced me because of my damson pie. I’d cooked him a damson pie and when we’d finished eating he had 24 stones on the side of his plate and I only had 2. He accused me of deliberately giving him the ones with stones and we had a massive row. Our marriage never recovered”.
Did you enjoy that Madam?” asked Wayne, when he cleared her plate. “It was absolutely delicious, she replied, smiling contentedly. “Happy memories” she added. Wayne couldn’t help noticing that there were only two stones on the side of her plate.
Here’s a spooky thing. Tonight Margaret cooked me a damson pie, from which I cut a small slice, as per the attached photo. That slice contained 26 stones!.

Georgeous Gladdies

Gladioli have been out of fashion for as long as I can remember. They got a reputation for being too showy and Dame Edna put paid to any hopes of a revival. But I love them and in January I ordered a large batch for a show garden at Tatton which, in the end, didn’t happen. So at short notice I needed to find a home for 400 gladioli. I planted about half of them here at Yewbarrow House, putting some among the large leaved Canna Musifolia (musifolia means “banana-leaved, so they are huge). This created a very effective display as the flowers of the gladioli seemed to belong to the cannas, causing many a visitor to do a double take. The other 200 plants I used at the Damson Dene hotel, planting them along the border of the Dahlia garden, where they look stunning. The gladioli have been in flower for a good two months (no doubt helped by the gloomy weather) which is fabulous value.

The Swifts have Arrived

The sun was warm but the wind was chill
You know how it is with an April day
When the sun is out and the wind is still,
You’re one month on in the middle of May.
But if you so much as dare to speak,
A cloud comes over the sunlit arch,
A wind comes over the frozen peak,
And you’re two months back in the middle of March.

Robert Frost

The first thing I do when I unwrap Country Life on a Wednesday evening is turn to the inside back page and read Carla Carlisle’s column. She never disappoints. I’m indebted to her for this stanza from Robert Frost’s poem, ‘Two Tramps in Mud Time’. Spring may be late and erratic this year, but the swifts have arrived at Damson Dene dead on time as usual. I suppose that when they set off from Africa, or wherever they have spent the winter, they won’t know what the weather is like in the Lyth valley. They depend entirely on flying insects for their food, so if the insects aren’t about because the weather is too cold or too wet, they can’t survive.
The swifts at Damson Dene nest just above the entrance to Reception, which is a bit of a nuisance as we have to clear their droppings from the pathway every day. But no-one minds because it’s a joy to have them around, whatever the weather.

Damson Day

Damson Day is always held in the middle of April to coincide with the damson blossom which is always such a spectacular sight in the Lyth Valley. Except for this year, when everything, including the blossom, is about a fortnight late. But the weather is trying to catch up- we’ve enjoyed a fortnight of clear skies and Damson Day was no exception. Last year, we had a record attendance of 3,000, which will  almost certainly  be beaten this year. I say “we” because the Damson Dene Hotel is, most appropriately, the event’s main sponsor. Blossom or no blossom, I can’t remember a better atmosphere at the event.

A Black Swan on Lake Windermere

A Black Swan is the term which economists use to describe a unexpected and devastating event which scuppers all your plans. The Lake District had its own Black Swan in November when the unprecedented rainfall caused unprecedented floods which frightened away all our tourist trade. This was followed by a family of Black Cygnets when 5 successive snowfalls over as many weeks made certain that the tourists wouldn’t or couldn’t come flooding back.
Some lateral thinking was needed if our businesses were to be saved. We hit upon the idea of ‘Super Sundays’ where hotels would give away their rooms for next to nothing on the first four Sundays of the year. We put the idea to our colleagues and they loved it. So did the public. As soon as ‘Super Sundays’ went public more than 1000 room nights were sold. The idea also caught the imagination of the local TV and the national press. This video is of me being interviewed about Super Sundays for the ITV news and the item was shown on the 6 o’clock news and again at 10.30.